Usually on a Tuesday's Tidings post, I give a mixture of ramblings. As I thought about what I wanted to write, I came to the conclusion that today's tidings would only be fitting if I wrote about Christian. You see, today, he is ONE years old and the mothering instinct inside me won't be happy with a short little blurb about him turning one. I need to dedicate a whole post to him. For today. :)
1. I remember the morning of Christian's birth as if it happened yesterday. Even the tiniest of details you think I would forget, I still remember. I was extra nervous with this inducement more than the others (I was induced with every pregnancy) and I don't know if it was because of the season, the fact that I was having a boy, or if it was just nerves. But I was an emotional basket case, crying over everything and anything.
2. I didn't sleep the night before I went to the hospital. It was really stormy out that night and I remember watching the time creep by on my cell phone. My mind was busy thinking about my girls, how our life was going to change. I was worried that I wouldn't love Christian like I loved the girls because little boys have always scared me. I was worried about complications that might arise, even though I've always had relatively fast and easy L&D's. I remember praying to the Lord over and over again for rest, for sleep...and it never came. And in the middle of my labor with Christian, when my body was so tired from lack of sleep and anxiety, I remember thinking about Paul, and how he went through so many trials working for the Lord, but that it made him stronger in his faith, in his conviction, and probably as a person. This labor was probably the most tiring of them all, and I made it through, without any drugs, except for a small tiny dose of Demerol before we began pushing. That tiny ounce of relief, gave me the strength and energy to bring the little Mr. into the world.
3. With every labor, my water has always needed to be broke, even when I was at a 10cm with Eden and they were about to have me push before they realized the water hadn't been broken. With Christian, it broke on its own and it was Weird!
4. One of the hospital staff's Midwives (whom I had never met before) came in to check on me while I was laboring and told me to envision myself as a piece of butter on a hot metal chair on a sidewalk, and that with every contraction, the slice of butter would melt a little bit more and become one with the sidewalk. Let's just say that I wanted her out of my room as fast as possible. She was not helpful!
5. Josh never left my side. I never raised my voice to him. I never hurt him. All I did, was keep telling him how much I loved him and that I didn't think I could do this, lol!
6. Aside from having Josh in the room with me when Christian was delivered, I also had my mom and Josh's mom there too.
7. Grace was my longest delivery at 7 hours and I pushed for 40 minutes with her. Eden was my shortest at 3 hours and she was out in like 3 minutes. Christian's delivery was around 4 hours long and I pushed for maybe 5 minutes. I've been blessed with incredibly easy deliveries...something that I do not take for granted.
8. I didn't get an epidural with Eden or Christian...but I was close to getting one with Christian. I would of caved, even though I didn't want to get one.
9. When Grace held Christian for the first time, she said," He is the best gift in the whole wide world!" To this day, her baby brother is her pride and joy and she tells me on a daily basis how much more fun life is with him in it! (I think she already wants another little baby in the house.)
10. As soon as I heard Christian cry, and my Dr. placed him on my chest, all of my anxiety, fears, worries, they all went away and those feelings of apprehension were replaced with the most content feeling of love I have ever felt. I was lovestruck for him right away! I knew that I loved him the same amount as I loved the girls and that he was quite possibly the most magical, sweetest, most adorable little baby boy I had ever seen and while my heart felt like it was about to burst with this intense amount of love, I could also feel my heart growing to make room for this new heavenly bundle sent from above.
To this day (even though he woke me up at 4:30am this morning) he is everything to me. I love him more than I did the day I met him. He is such a joy to our lives and my family's lives. We are ALL better because he is in this world! He is the cuddle bug of all 3 babies and probably the most dependent of the 3 as well. I love all of my kids equally, but it really is true what I've heard other mom's express...there is something uniquely different about a mother's love for a son...and I cannot pinpoint what it is, but it is different from my love for the girls, but the same. Does that make sense?
This past year has been one of the biggest and bestest years of my life! Happy 1st Birthday to my little Mr. Christian Scott! You are mine and your daddy's world! You are the apple of your sister's eyes. You are a masterpiece and quite truly, one of God's most beautiful works of art! I cannot wait to spend the rest of the day celebrating you! I love you, my dear little one!